Review: With All Due Respect: Defending America With Grit and Grace

Nikki Haley’s new memoir about her time as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations pulls its title from one of her most famous quotes: “With all due respect, I don’t get confused.” A clarifying moment for a powerful woman, it reinforced her reputation as a no-nonsense, former Southern governor. But, with respect, this behind-the-scenes account of her tenure in the Trump administration left our reviewer looking for more from this woman of substance. 

“Her life as part of the only Indian family in her small town gave her strength, determination, and perseverance. Had her story focused on this element, her book would have made compelling reading. Yet, from the very first pages, Haley sets herself up as the heroine in the story — with Donald Trump as the hero.”

As an intelligent woman who successfully worked in a male-dominated field, Nikki Haley represents the kind of woman I find interesting. The daughter of immigrants from India, Haley faced challenges early on, fitting neither in the white nor the black world of her schoolmates. Her life as part of the only Indian family in her small town gave her strength, determination, and perseverance. Had her story focused on this element, her book would have made compelling reading. Yet, from the very first pages, Haley sets herself up as the heroine in the story — with Donald Trump as the hero.

Haley never really explains how her staunch anti-Trump stance in the primaries for the 2016 election, when she supported Marco Rubio, transferred into her pro-Trump position — except to allude to her role as a committed Republican. While claiming that Trump’s rhetoric in expressing his views “turned me off,” Haley fails to acknowledge that while his rhetoric never changed, her position did. 

Even after Trump responded to her call for the release of his tax returns by tweeting “The people of South Carolina are embarrassed by Nikki Haley!,” she simply replied with the southern euphemism, ”Bless your heart.”  This sets the stage for the rest of Haley’s argument: Trump respected her; he listened to her; he never did anything questionable in his role as president; he is misunderstood and maligned.   

If Trump is the hero of this book, then Obama is the antagonist with everything he did as wrong. This left it to Haley and Trump to set the world right again. In her role as United States ambassador to the United Nations, Haley’s main goal was to undo anything supported or negotiated by Obama. In doing so, in her eyes, she became the savior of America’s reputation around the world.

In discussing Trump’s stance on Russia and North Korea in With All Due Respect, Haley emphasizes his hard stance, yet fails to address Trump’s “love affair” with Kim Jong Un or his proclivity for Putin in spite of all evidence of Russian interference with the 2016 election and implied intent to interfere again in 2020. Haley’s habit of shading every event to Trump’s advantage truly permeates her book and tarnishes her credibility.

Haley calls herself “a badass” rather than ambitious and describes herself as “never confused” in spite of a Trump spokesman’s comment to that effect when she said one thing and the White House reported another. Such statements fail to acknowledge her humanity and sets her apart from everyone who has struggled to do what is right under strenuous and complex conditions. Something she most certainly has experience with. Haley undermines her story in With All Due Respect by refusing to acknowledge any possibility of error or weakness by either herself of Trump.  Thereby, setting herself up as just another one of Trump’s toadies hooked to his star, no matter what the evidence reveals.

Trump supporters will likely love this book. Haley’s attempt to couch her success as of her own making comes up against her determination to cast Trump as the fulfillment of the hopes and dreams of the American people. Perhaps this is most clear in her discussion of the #MeToo movement. Haley explains her support of the movement and every woman’s right to be heard and have justice served. She acknowledges Trump’s numerous accusers, but then simply states the presumption of innocence and moves on. 

As a result, Haley moves on over too much in her memoir which becomes less about her with each page. 

With All Due Respect: Defending America With Grit and Grace by Nikki Haley is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and local booksellers. Published by St. Martin’s Press: New York, 2019. This post contains affiliate links.