Why I’m a germaphobe — and frankly, we humans are gross.
Disclaimer: Look, I know I have a problem with germs. Many of them have tried to kill me over the years, and I think that’s a more than reasonable reason to have a anxiety-riddled carefully considered fear of them. Here’s what I have learned (and honestly wish I hadn’t) over the years, and will share with you to better explain my position. Now, go wash your hands, and let’s get started.
Beards
“That beard is rank. Stop touching your face. Don’t touch a bathroom on an airplane. Or your sink. Or someone else’s phone. All are covered in millions and millions of germs. Millions.”
This study showed that men’s beards have significantly more microbes than dogs’ fur. Blech. Do you kiss your mother with that thing? But that sample size was tiny (and needs to wash their beards now and again, frankly).
A few years back, another study fed the fire of filthy-bearded men when several of them were swabbed and analyzed. What did they discover? The beards they checked contained bacteria also found in fecal matter. The microbiologist who completed the study said that “some of the same bacteria found in the beards could cause a shutdown of a municipal water system.”
Um.
I have loved bearded men and shown them my affections. I regret this not at all, but now sometimes wonder how often that equated to snuggling up to The Porcelain God.
How germy are airplanes?
Short answer: quite. Hundreds of passengers, multiple legs, limited time for cleaning between flights, hacking and coughing common in that dry air, air vents blasting you in the face… well, it all adds up. Who hasn’t come back from a flight with a sudden weird sinus thing or stomach bug at least once?
Surprisingly, airplane bathrooms probably aren’t the dirtiest spot onboard. They are purposefully cleaned often and well. No, it’s your tray table that’s super gross with EIGHT TIMES as many germs as on the flusher in the bathroom. Let that sink in. Actually, don’t. Wipe that surface down, folks. And maybe give the head rest a quick wipe/spray given the beard situation above. Women’s hair cannot be that much cleaner given how often we touch it all day.
Bathrooms
The researchers in this study discovered that humans bring a lot of bacteria into bathrooms, Within an hour of normal use, there were an average of 500,000 bacterial cells per square inch on bathroom surfaces.
On handles and doors, you’ll find skin-sloughed bacterias. Those on toilet seats and handles are more likely to be associated with the gut — that’s thanks to fecal contamination from either direct contact or toilet spray. Public ladies’ rooms are more likely to have bacteria from the vaginal microbiome.
So, stop bringing your phone into public bathrooms, laying them on the shelf by the toilet, and then wondering why you keep getting infections. (editor’s note: take a little phone break when you pee to do those Kegels. Your pelvic floor with thank you!)
Speaking of fecal contamination…
Have you ever flushed the toilet with the lid open? Think about stopping that today. Why? More of that toilet spray. According to a 2012 University of Manchester study, more than 10 million bacteria call your toothbrush home.
Again, blech.
Couple years ago, I read this article. Now, I did not need to know I might be brushing my teeth with fecal matter. I carefully close the toilet lid (every time) and keep the electric Oral B on the other side of the room. But does your significant other sometimes forget?
Close the toilet lid and you should be fine, but the ADA also recommends a few things like letting your toothbrush air dry and changing them out every few months. They also affirm that while toothbrushes “have been shown to harbor bacteria, there is no evidence that these bacteria cause adverse health effects.” Phew!?
Handbag grossness
Once, I heard a comedian talking about bacteria and fecal matter being found in women’s handbags — that the prevalence suggests they need to keep their panties on once in a while. I’d like to propose that it’s likely the shoes we wear around all day (in and out of bathrooms, on sidewalks where we walk our dogs, and stuck to always-sticky movie theater floors), then shove in our bags when we head to the gym or home for the day, that are the culprit. Also, apparently, our little jars of hand cream are one of bacteria’s favorite spa locations. Consider getting a shoe bag or stowing your flats in packing cube when you travel. And maybe buy some squeeze-bottle lotion.
The good news
Yes, even this germaphobe found some consolation in all of this data. Most bacteria can’t live long enough on a hard surface to do you much harm. You’d have to rub your hands on the floor to get the bad bugs into a cut (never do this). Also: Never have any form of sex on the floor of a public restroom. Washing your hands with warm, soapy water for 15-20 seconds (sing happy birthday to yourself) will take care of most bacteria and being smart about how you expose yourself to the others really helps.
My advice? Wash your hands, leave your phone on your desk/coffee table, close the toilet when you flush, stop touching your face, and use a little lysol now and then. But you do you… Happy Lysol-ing!
