5 sex books for women worth reading

Thinking about a little reading about sex in bed? We’ve got a few suggestions to keep the pages turning. Just remember, sex books are a lot like sex: incredibly personal and individual in what you may enjoy, but you don’t always know until you try.

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

Maybe you’ve read her other books Gulp or Stiff, maybe Mary Roach is brand new to you. Her books dig through mountains of complicated or complex science and deliver it in a palatable, funny, and entertaining way — in this case, about bonking.

She asks the important questions like do animals have orgasms? (short answer: yes)

You’ll come away from reading this book knowing other essential things like how pig farmers stimulate their livestock and the average distance that a man can blow his wad. Not titillating, but often fascinating, bedtime reading.

The Vagina Bible: The Vulva and the Vagina: Separating the Myth from the Medicine by Jennifer Gunter

If, like Gwyneth Paltrow, you were today years old when you found out that the vulva and the vagina are two completely different things, this is the book for you. For reference, you cannot shave your vagina because it’s inside you and functions as the birth canal — among other things. Your vulva is the outside where your labia and mound live.

We recommend anything by Dr. Jen Gunter including her Ted Talk about periods or article about incontinence. It’s not light reading at 432 pages, but you’re going to know a lot more about down there by the time you’re done.

Moan: Anonymous Essays on Female Orgasm by Emma Koenig

Imagine you could hand your lover an instruction manual called “How to Make Me Orgasm”. This collection of intimate, educational, and funny essays written anonymously aims to do just that. Emma’s Tumblr, How to Make Me Come, was designed as a safe space for women to talk honestly and openly about the struggles and delights of reaching climax. It definitely got women talking about something that they typically don’t. And all that sharing touched a chord.

If you’re looking to open a dialogue with your partner, this might be worthy reading for both of you.

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D.

In the last few years, scientists have learned more about female sexuality than ever before. And this book aims to explain everything you ever wanted to know about orgasms but were afraid to ask. Including why stress and anxiety play a role. Why a pill like Viagra may never be the solution. Sexuality is incredibly individual and personal including our anatomy, brain, and stimulus response.

Packed with insights and proper science, this book gently and supportively explains that whatever is normal for you is normal. And that’s ok. No matter your relationship status, you’ll get something from this book. 

What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety by Jaclyn Friedman

Designed for young women discovering their sexuality for the first time, this book also has something for women who are reinventing or feeling their way back to their sexuality later in life. Think of the author as a cool friend or with-it aunt who can talk to you about the sex things you’d never bring up with your mom. We also like that it’s inclusive of different experiences and identities.

Divided into chapters meant to be read week-by-week, What You Really Really Want (yep, Spice Girls inspired), is part manual and part workbook. Use it how it makes sense for you — or as a jumping-off point for a conversation with your daughter.