Lifestyle lessons I learned living in the city

I stare out at the setting sun, glancing at the clock on my screen. 

4:58pm. 

An hour goes by.

4:59pm. 

Come on! 

Why do the last few minutes of the day take so long to go by? 

5:00pm! 

FINALLY!

I jump up. Shout my goodbyes and race out to my car. In 30 minutes, I will be on my way to meet up with my usual group of friends for our usual happy hour at our usual place to start off the weekend.

That was a glimpse into a typical evening in my life 10 years ago when I was living in Center City, Philadelphia in my 20s. Being a single woman living alone in a city taught me how to be independent, gave me a place to make mistakes, allowed me to explore new things, and — most importantly — taught me how to be me. 

Having friends in the city meant everything 

Fortunately, I wasn’t a complete stranger to the city. I grew up in its suburbs, went to school in the Northeast, had family nearby, and had friends living in the city. Having them nearby was clutch for making me feel comfortable and brave in a new environment. In fact, that friend group was the key to much of my life.

Many evenings and weekends were spent with these people heading to happy hours, going to sporting events, exploring the city, getting into minor trouble, meeting and making new friends, and creating memories that shaped the person I am today. Of course, all of our adventures were formed around the common thread that we were all in similar places in our life financially and career-wise — i.e., we were broke. Being broke in a city isn’t so bad since there are so many free or low-cost activities you can enjoy. You also develop the uncanny life skill of hunting out every cheap drink and meal deal that exists.

What’s changed since then

Even though I am now older and in a new city, my evenings now start much the same way they did back then — with the countdown of the work clock. Some of my challenges are also the same. 

I’m still broke, but it is a different kind of broke. My salary now is more than double what it was then, but I still feel like I never have money — thanks, New York. This means the part of me that had a knack for tracking down the best happy hour deals is still thriving… though now I will treat myself to a delicious $20 craft cocktail.

There are other parts of my life that are better now, too. The endless access to anything you want that comes from living in an urban environment is doubled in New York City. Plus, the massive public transportation system this city has makes getting around that much easier — and cuts out the times I used to walk home that I definitely should not have. I wish I could be exploring this city with that same group of friends the way I explored Philly, but sadly that isn’t possible. 

It’s not only that people in that original group live in different places now, but life for many is very different now in our mid-30s than it was 10 years ago. Now it’s a lack of time thanks to other obligations like demanding work schedules, spouses and partners, or children that hold us back from being as free as we once were. 

This doesn’t mean that life is sad now. Just the opposite. Life is quite happy. My younger self would be thrilled with my current self and everything that I have accomplished in the time in between. 

If I could go back and tell younger me anything, it would be to keep working hard, stop stressing about how life will turn out, enjoy every moment, and have fun.

But give it 10 years… I’m sure my mid-40’s self will be telling my current self the same things.