Life lessons from Lola

There is no better educator in the world than a grandmother with some stories. There is an expectation for women across many cultures to be well-mannered, beautiful, a master of all things domestic, but in varying degrees, somewhat submissive to her husband. 

That’s why I’m especially proud to have been brought up as a little kid by a Lola (Filipino word for grandmother) who was renowned for her sass and fiery temper. Regrets? Sure, she’s had a few. But they made for fantastic stories and the most important life lessons a kid could learn. 

Here are a few of my faves:

1) Always eat the food that is given to you, or at least try it. It doesn’t matter that your Dad spoils you with McDonald’s Happy Meals, you will also try the squash blossom soup, even if the stems are a little fuzzy. If she put in the effort to make it, you’d better make the effort to open your mouth.

2) There is no ailment that a combo of Tiger Balm and White Flower can’t fix. Both of these make up the backbone of the Asian medicine cabinet, the former a more aromatic form of Ben Gay and the latter a triple-essential-oil threat of lavender, eucalyptus, and peppermint oils. Mix the two together, and if your body wasn’t numb, then at least your sinuses were cleared out. Likely repels mosquitoes, too.

3) Beer is great for your hair. Lola thought beer was best applied externally rather than internally, and even though she never imbibed, she did give off the air of a party gal out on the town on a Friday night. Her hair did look great though.

4) Why drink alcohol when you can drink hot chocolate? Lola was all about gaining energy rather than losing it when it came to drinks. Likewise, it wasn’t worth the calories if it didn’t taste fabulous.

5) JR Ewing from Dallas was a villain, and this is precisely the type of man you should always avoid. Self-explanatory. Lola had strong opinions about the leading men in her daytime and nighttime soap operas. 

6) If you and your husband share a common love of something, amp it up to 11. Both Lola and Lolo (you guessed it: Filipino word for grandfather) adored music. Every night after dinner, she would sit down at the piano to play while he sang a melody. 

7) Always share a secret with the entire family. In a culture taught to “never air the dirty laundry,” this was particularly rebellious. Honesty was her best policy. 

8) Always exercise lying down. She was doing Pilates when everyone else was swearing by aerobics. She was a Pilates pioneer — by 20 years.

9) If a bat flies into your room at night, don’t try to catch it yourself. Always get your father. This happened with surprising frequency. 

10) If a bat flies into your room at night, it could be an aswang — a mythical creature out of Filipino folklore. Much like a vampire, she’ll suck your blood. But she’s much more terrifying because unlike your generic Western vampire: she can split in half. There is also a moral code in how she selects her victims, namely, she likes to target naughty little kids. The Brothers Grimm had nothing on Lola.

11) WWF fights are real if you believe they’re real. This is a wise allegory that can be extended to how we perceive almost everything around us. She did think they were real, by the way. She cried and prayed the rosary every time Hulk Hogan got knocked down. But, because she prayed, he got up again.

12) Learn what kind of smile looks best on your face and plant it there for the rest of your life. If you look at photographs of Lola, she wears the same expression in her beauty queen pose as she does in candid photos with Lolo, decades later. Hence, she aged beautifully.

Let us know in the comments: What’s the best wit or wisdom your grandmother has shared with you?