A Little Human Conversation with Vashti Boyce

Vashti Boyce is a lifelong learner and performer. Professionally, she currently works in the mental health/social work field for a national nonprofit. She is shifting towards Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion consulting and non-profit management. 

Vashti has been dancing since age 4, and has studied a variety of dance styles, most recently Middle Eastern belly dance and its American Fusion derivatives. She is also a sorority woman, and is serving as a General Member on the International Governing Board of Delta Phi Epsilon Sorority. 

We asked her a bunch of questions as part of our ALHC project. Read on to see what she had to say… 

Where would you like to live 

I've always said that I wanted to live just as close to the ocean as I do to the mountains. Technically, I'm living where I would want to live, now that I live in Portland, Oregon.

What's your stance on the Oxford comma

I use the Oxford comma, and I secretly judge people who do not. I don't know why — it just looks more correct to me. I still understand the sentence when people don't use it, but it always looks slightly off to me. I won’t start a war, but I will slightly judge you on the inside. 

What is your dream job? 

Ideally, I would love to start a non-profit where we would address the whole person. You'd be able to get traditional talk therapy, medication, and things like that, but it would also be a place where you could take movement therapy or art therapy. Girl Scouts could come to have their meetings, or things like that. There would obviously be a bit more of a focus on mental health but recognizing that it’s not separate from physical health.

What do you consider your greatest achievement to date 

I would say that I am closer to middle-class than my parents have ever been. I caveat that with my parents are immigrants from Barbados, and they have essentially been working for their entire lives. So, while my partner and I are not extremely secure, we are definitely better off than my parents have been. That was kind of their goal for us when raising us — to live a little bit better than they were able to

My mom has four kids and couldn't go to school, so she was a CNA not an RN. My dad does accounting work, is also an ordained minister, and has transitioned into a real estate as a realtor. They are wonderful helping people and, as we know, in America the helping professions do not get paid well. 

What are you known for?

That depends on who you ask. My mom she would say that I am fearless — which I do not agree with. I think that’s because she's even more cautious than I am. 

If you ask my coworkers they would say that I stay calm regardless of the situation. Truth is, I'm freaking out in my head and just hiding it well. 

I think if you ask my dance folks, they would say I'm known for my face.  When I'm performing the expressions on my face tell the story. And that probably is the one that I agree with the most because I don't think I'm necessarily fearless or calm. 

“What talent would you most like to have that you don’t?

Patience. That’s probably not something most people would think of as a talent, but when I see patient people, it flabbergasts me. I’m not a patient person. ”

Have you ever gotten into a fight with a stranger online?

Rarely. It's only ever been once or twice. A friend of mine posted a meme about being afraid of children. One of her friends responded to me saying something like, “How could you be afraid of kids! You were a kid!” Then it progressed into her saying things like “you're not worth anything if you don't have children, or if you don't plan on having children, then your life is really meaningless.” 

And that's where we got to. I strongly disagreed with her because I don't plan on having children. My life is absolutely wonderful, and it's no better or worse than if I had decided to have children. It's also kind of an assumption to make about a stranger. Maybe I didn't want children or can't have them. 

I thought it was incredibly rude for her to make the assertion that your life is not worth anything if you don't have children. I was offended for so many people and I expressed that. 

What would you like to be celebrating a year from now?

I would love to be celebrating my new role at a new place. My plans for that new job are to increase my income so my partner and I can afford our own space and live without roommates. We have awesome roommates, but I'm looking forward to potentially moving into a new part of town, having a little bit more space and financial freedom, and to be able to live by ourselves. 

What do you wish you could do better?

Say no and ask for help. I don't ask for help as early and often as I should, I am definitely feeling burned out on my field and the population that I'm serving. Mental health social work doesn't let into a good work-life balance no matter how hard the organization may try. 

Early bird or night owl

Is that what it was one of the ones that I chose? It’s a hard question. For the past eight years, I have not had a good sleep pattern. 

My spouse seems to think I'm on that ancient human pattern where you wake up in the middle of the night and are active for a while before going back to sleep again — which is not conducive to a regular nine-to-five job. 

I would say that I'm probably more of an early riser because I like going into work early and going getting to leave early. A 9:30 meeting is so painful for people out here. I can get so much work done before people get in, so by the time others are having their afternoon coffee or snack, I'm ready to go for the day. 

How would you like to die?

I'd like to be one of those older ladies who gets a little drunk, dances on the table, and falls off at 90. Dancing makes me happy. 

What do you think happens when we die?

I think that life, birth, and death are constants. Time is a concept that we cannot fully understand  and conceptualize, so we experience it through these cycles over and over. When we come back, the Earth will be in a different place. So, the circle of death and rebirth and reinvention and learning here continues in a different form. 

If you could wake up tomorrow in your favorite place on Earth, where would you be?

I thought about this question. I definitely have not traveled anywhere near as much as I would like, so I will limit my answer to places I've been in the United States. New York — Brooklyn, specifically.

Who is your biggest influence?

Introvert or extrovert?

I am an introvert. People always get surprised because I'm not shy, but I socializing is something I need to prepare for. I think the appropriate term is probably extroverted introvert, so I can do presentations and I'm not afraid to dance in public in front of hundreds of thousands of people. Honestly, this is probably because of what I was forced to learn is an undergrad in the sorority: talking to people and having to converse with strangers in so many different circumstances. 

What's the last thing you throw away

A pair of fake eyelashes after a photo shoot yesterday.

What living person do you most admire?

I recently went to a dance conference and saw a woman named Donna Mejia. She’s a dancer and an amazing individual. I got to spend time with her again this weekend since I was helping out with a conference. Her mind is amazing — she did a lecture at the convention and quoted some of the same people that I had in my thesis for my second Masters. She's amazing and famous in the dance world — and is still humble, kind, and also an introvert. 

What talent would you most like to have that you don't?

Patience. That's probably not something most people would think of as a talent, but when I see patient people, it flabbergasts me. I'm not a patient person. My partner is the most patient person, and I just don't understand it — and I've been with him for over a decade.

Are you someone who remembers your dreams?

Not too much since I stopped sleeping. I used to remember my dreams quite well, but in the more recent past couple of years, I don't feel like I really held onto you any of my dreams.

Are you superstitious?

Yes. “Superstitious” sometimes has a negative connotation, but I'm going to own that. Yes, I'm superstitious. 

What is your favorite journey? And you can interpret “journey” anyway that you like: as a trip that you've taken or a journey you've taken in your life. 

I think traveling my own little Oregon Trail from Atlanta to Oregon three years ago is probably my favorite so far. I came out here without a job — we had prospects — and we didn't have a place to live. Knowing now how hard the housing market is here, I can’t believe we did that. 

But it was also me saying no to continuing to live in Atlanta — a place that I never wanted to live in the first place. I was continuing to strike out employment-wise and never getting as far as I wanted to get in any field, so I was feeling stuck. 

The journey here was hard, and I deeply miss all of my people and their kids, but I definitely think I'm cultivating a different life here. It wouldn't have happened if we didn't make this journey. 

Going from New England to Georgia was probably my least favorite journey. Living in Georgia for 20 years wasn’t part of my plan — I planned to move as soon as I graduated from high school and then stayed another ten years after that.