Three Wise women talk being female in foodservice

One could reasonably describe my family as two things: matriarchal and food people. And by food people, I don’t mean, “OMG, my family are such foodies! My sister makes a mean quiche Lorraine.” I mean, “Hey, the woman at the back eight-top is shoving crab legs in her purse… can you get her a to-go box while I unclog the toilet?”

Most everyone in my family makes their living in food service, from my late parents to my brother, aunts, uncles and cousins. Personally, I spent my childhood in my family’s small-town fried catfish restaurant, waiting on tables from the time I was old enough to lift a sweet tea pitcher. So, for the Conversational food issue, it seemed fitting that I sat down with two of my favorite powerhouse women of the Georgia food and beverage industry – my aunt Maridee Wise and cousin Marceil Wise Ousley – to talk about being female in foodservice. 

Maridee is the owner of Newnan, Georgia’s historic Southern meat-and-three mainstay Golden’s on the Square. She and my late uncle also owned Catfish Hollow, a seafood joint in Tyrone and, later, Sharpsburg that they started with my parents the year after I was born — because apparently that’s a thing families did in the 80s. Marceil, Maridee’s daughter who inherited her mother’s deep-olive Italian coloring and talent for deliciously preparing animals for consumption (even though she’s a vegetarian), is a sales associate for national foodservice sales company The Core Group. She’s also the former culinary director for Cancer Treatment Centers of America.

We cracked open our third bottle of rosé and got down to business. 

Katy: You both started working in the 80s and 90s. Is the foodservice industry different today than it was then?

Marceil: It’s changed a ton since I started working in the late 90s. You definitely see more and more women going to culinary school to become chefs, or going to college to work in upper management, even though it's still a predominantly male industry.  

Maridee: Well, for me, it was totally different than when we started our business in 1986. Today's society is all digital – all about computers. In 1986 restaurants were more people oriented. It was more about caring about the people you were serving. And that's something that I still try to do every day. All these years later, I still cater to that philosophy. 

Marceil: Yeah, customer service in general just sucks right now. It seems like now it's more about sales volume and how many people you serve, whereas 15 years ago the key to success was how well you treated your customer. 

Katy: If foodservice, in your eyes, is all about taking care of people, do you think women should have a bit of an advantage here, as we’re seen as more natural caretakers?

Maridee: Well, I think we're more caring and giving naturally. We tend to be more forgiving. I have a huge heart for people, and I do think it makes me a better business owner.

Marceil: I agree. My favorite part of the business is definitely the people, whether it’s waiting tables or going into a restaurant to teach them how to use my product, or how to improve their menu. I love feeling like I’m impacting people every day. But, I’d actually say the major advantage women have is that we can keep our composure and pull ourselves together better than men can. We’re a lot more in control of ourselves, and that’s a big deal in our high-stress world. 

“My favorite part of the business is definitely the people, whether it’s waiting tables or going into a restaurant to teach them how to use my product, or how to improve their menu. I love feeling like I’m impacting people every day.”

— Marceil Wise Ousley

Katy: Marceil, you mentioned that like a lot of industries, food and beverage seems to still be mostly male dominated. Have you found that to be a challenge?

Marceil: Absolutely, especially being an upper management to the level that I am now. When you’re a strong woman with the same knowledge, or sometimes a lot more knowledge than some of these guys have, they do seem to get very intimidated by you. It can be challenging. 

Katy: How do you deal with it?

Marceil: My way of dealing with it is to get back in their faces. As a restaurant owner, though, it didn’t seem to matter. I was just one of the employees — even though my name is on the bottom line. I was just like everyone else, getting down and dirty in the kitchen. 

Katy: What about harassment, or feeling taken advantage of? Is that something either of you have experienced?

Marceil: Ohhhh, yes. Dirty old men… staring at your body, making comments. 

Katy: Good tippers, though. But, geeze. At what cost?
Marceil: Yup. Exactly.

Maridee: For me, there were just many times that people took advantage of my heart, and my good nature. I think when you’re a woman in business, people can think that you’re not capable, or not qualified enough, to handle tough situations, so they’ll try to take advantage of you. Overall, though, I do feel like I’ve been very blessed to be able to make a living this way. Being a restaurant owner is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done, even though I never wanted to do it.

Katy: You never wanted to have your own restaurant? I didn’t know that. 

Maridee: Oh, no. I never wanted to get into the restaurant business. At the time, I was a stay-at-home mom. I’d left my job working for a wine distributor to raise the kids. And then my husband — your Uncle Al — out of the blue told me he wanted to go to Tyrone, Georgia to start a restaurant with your mom and dad, and I said, “No, I'm not coming.” That was just not my cup of tea. In the end, though, I think I just decided I wanted to give something new a chance. And now, here I am… the only one left running it all. 

Katy: You really are. What would you say is weirdest thing you two have ever experienced while working?

Maridee: Well, we had one of our best busboys streak in front of all the customers on one of our busiest Saturday nights. I threw butter knives at him and fired him, but I was cracking up.

Marceil: For me, it was when I was pregnant and people would come up behind me and rub my belly. People I didn’t even know. It was awful. I was actually glad when I had to go on bed rest. 

Katy: As we finish up, is there anything you want to say to women looking to break into the foodservice industry today?

Marceil: I’d say to make it a goal that they can completely support themselves financially. It’s just like how I'm raising Macayla (Marceil’s 11-year-old daughter), so that no matter what she does, or who she becomes, she’s able to support herself and not worry about anyone — her parents, a man, a significant other — having to take care of her when she grows up. 

Maridee: I agree with that, but I also think all women, in foodservice or otherwise, need to know that we can do hard things. We can be powerful. 

Amen to that, Aunt Dee.